pondering truth...part 1

“But he who practices the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.” John 3:21 NASB

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." –Dr. Howard Thurman

Oh, I have a feeling I am in way over my head on this one. My husband even headed the other way when he heard I was having a theological discussion with myself. Nevertheless here I sit in my safe little space pondering some pretty big questions. What is truth? What is authentic? What is God’s work?

I am also wondering about our human nature to go for either simplistic answers and/or responses that are so convoluted there is only argument without conversation. I continue to be profoundly affected by those who dismissively reduce Christ to the simple statement, “All you have to do is believe" and imply the rest is gravy. I do not choose to throw the Christ-child out with the bath water, however, mustn’t we look at the paradox of life? Things (e.g. life, truth, religion) are immensely simple AND oh so very complicated.

So, what does it look like to practice truth? How do you or I define “truth”? Who am I? How can I be a better person? Am I a horrible person? Pondering the existential questions of life, can they all be simply answered by turning outward and accepting Jesus Christ as Savior? It helps – at least it can – and it can cause much more guilt and shame if we feel like we're not getting it "right." Shame taken on as being evil, bad people when we don’t measure up or feel happy all of the time - when the rest is not “gravy.” Does the judge come from without or within?

Today’s reading John 3:14-21 is about the light and being willing to look into the darkness. What of those who refuse to look inside, fearing there is nothing there? It is fear that keeps us from looking. Why are we afraid to look at the core? What if nothing is there or what if it’s all darkness inside? What if we think it's all goodness and it's not? Who is the judge?

“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world.” (John 3:17) We already do that for ourselves. Richard Rohr says, “Much of patriarchal Christian interpretation has been trying to avoid pain; it thought birth pangs were unnecessary. That’s why we couldn’t hear Jesus.” Sometimes we have to look inside and that can be terribly painful. It’s reminiscent of the pangs of childbirth. Is it easier for women to make the connection between life and pain? It is often easier to focus on doing and being successful (whatever that means) than looking inside ourselves. What if the real self is nasty and ugly? What if it is the depraved sinful self that fundamental Judeo-Christianity sells? Or...what if it is good beyond measure. What then? What if it's both?

John 3:21 offers, “But he who practices the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.” It all seems to be about defining what truth is. A few years ago in a workshop designed for personal healing I noticed that as I came closer and closer to remembering my own personal truth, I intuitively reached for the light. My arms raised of their own accord as in flight – a sense of being lifted from the ground – moving toward the light. It may have been a dimmed old light bulb, but even with my eyes closed I was moving and reaching toward a brilliant light. My own light shining and love flowing through me and out of me – permeating every pore, vessel, atom of my body. Filled with light. To me, this is eternal life. End without end. It is truth.

I have decided this will be a two part series...so check back in for the rest of these ponderings. In the meantime, feel free to ponder alongside. How do you define truth? Light? God's work? Authenticity? Other thoughts?

photo from musee d'orsay 3.08

enCouragingBliss: Our Bodies as Healthy Vehicles

Last week Blisschick announced a way of being intentional about following our bliss and sharing it with others. Living an authentic life is something I encourage both in others as well as myself. So, when I saw this week’s challenge “enCouragingBliss: Our Bodies as Healthy Vehicles,” I wondered about the personal resistance I felt.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I feel a strong pull toward something or conversely a push away, it usually means there is something to be explored. This, I believe, is part of following (and/or uncovering) your bliss. As normal human beings, we usually want to avoid what feels dissonant, however, those seem to be the places that offer the most opportunity for me. Thus, I forged ahead to explore my body – head to toe – as Blisschick encouraged.

It was a very enlightening and surprising exercise for me. While I thought I would probably have the most energy around my round buttocks or my not so ample breast or even my squishy belly, it was my hands that called out for the most attention. They are my mother’s hands – old & weathered. Next, reflecting on the beautiful truth of my hands I became aware that it is through my hands that my creative and written voice is funneled. How lovely is that? Here are other words that followed upon a bit more reflection:

Odd that my hands would be the part that is so much like Mother. Perhaps I am writing for her. I am writing for us. Healing for the generations of women with no voice or voices that came from the false self – the place of inauthenticity – the voice of the outer world rather than the truth that resonates within.

Love your body. It carried you here and never left even though you abused it along the way. It gives you the conduit to share the wisdom – the love and compassion that is yours alone to share. Be grateful. Love your body.

Over the next days, weeks, months and years, I hope I will consider and remember these words. Whether you are a part of enCouragingBliss or not, I would love to hear what resonates for you when you think about encouraging your healthy body.

"hands" inspired and created by lucy 3.21.09

more pondering...

"We are warmed by fire, not by the smoke of fire.

We are carried over the sea by a ship, not by the wake of a ship.

So, too, what we are is to be sought in the invisible depths of our own being,
not in our outward reflection in our own acts."

--Thomas Merton

Smoke or fire? Wake or ship? Focusing on the outer appearances using smoke & mirrors? Or reflecting in the invisible depths? Where do you find yourself today?

things i'm pondering today...

"The self is a calm stable center surrounded by a continuous changing sea. Merge with yourself and be ready for any emergent sea." Coretta Scott King

Wise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group's plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth. --from "A Woman's Spirit" by Karen Casey

"It is the only thing we can do...I see no alternative; each of us must turn inward and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others. and remember that every atom of hatred we add to the world makes it still more inhospitable." (written by Etty Hillesum, a woman who ultimately died in Auschwitz...found in Jan Richardson's "Garden of Hollows.")

BlissChick's post, "Does enlightenment mean I'll never be pissed?"

Anger. Forgiveness. Standing up for myself. Personal Value.

I invite you to ponder along with me!

rodin's "thinker" - paris 3.08

bliss

BlissChick stopped by "Diamonds" to welcome me to her newly created “Live Your Bliss Accountability Circle.” Check out the new button and if you’re game join in the fun by writing about your own personal journey toward blissdom. This week's prompt is:

Think about, write about, Mister Linky about...when you visualize your happiest, healthiest, most rockin'est self, what do you see? Where do you see this? What are you doing? Come on! Share!

If you are saying to yourself, ‘Whew, I don’t even know where to begin’…think about these quotes from a couple of guys who help remind me of their definitions of bliss.

“It is not easy to try to say what I know I cannot say…And the simple fact that by being attentive, by learning to listen (or recovering the natural capacity to listen which cannot be learned any more than breathing), we can find ourself engulfed in such happiness that it cannot be explained: the happiness of being at one with everything in that hidden ground of Love for which there can be no explanations.” --Thomas Merton

“The way to find out about your happiness is to keep your mind on those moments when you feel most happy, when you really are happy—not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy. This requires a little bit of self-analysis. What is it that makes you happy? Stay with it, no matter what people tell you. This is what I call “following you bliss.”” --Joseph Campbell

My happiest, healthiest, most rockin’ self takes time to be still and listen. I find time to breathe in the air around me; feel the sunshine on my skin and just simply be. Words cannot adequately describe this state of being, but I know when I know that I know. Ya know? ☺

I will be sharing more on this in the weeks to come. Are you ready to follow YOUR bliss? What does that look like for you?