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live it to give it is all about love and connection. Being authentic. Living our lives and sharing it with others. Life is messy and so is this blog. Somedays my organized coach self shows up. Other days it's my vulnerable author. There's a mom that lives inside me alongside a wife, friend, social justice activist, creative muse, ponderer extraordinaire, and multitude of others. I'll introduce you to people who inspire me and offer a peek into my world that very likely intersects with your world. In other words, I will share life in its full, glorious mess with you. I'm honored you're here and I hope you'll come back soon!!  Cheers! Kayce 

 

Monday
Jan232012

Magic never feels icky...

Don’t exchange your comfort zone for an icky zone and confuse that with moving toward magic. Magic NEVER feels icky! Exhilarating? Yes. Scary? Probably. But never icky. My pondering juices started flowing yesterday morning when I read two articles on yoga and how most people shouldn’t even be doing it. Many folks have jumped into yoga as the latest health fad without relying on the wisdom of listening to their bodies... A repeating result is that they end up injured and upset rather than invigorated and enlightened. My pondering continued as I had a discussion with a very wise friend around a diagram shared on Facebook which suggests one needs to move out of the comfort zone to find magic. While I heartily agree with this sentiment, I decided to create a slightly revised version (see diagram) and shall repeat: Don’t exchange your comfort zone for an icky zone and confuse that with moving toward magic.

Magic doesn’t feel icky. Like in yoga, if a pose feels bad or harmful (icky), back off! We are a culture of strivers. This means we put strenuous efforts toward our goals. We struggle vigorously in opposition and resistance. How magical does that sound or feel in your body? It resonates downright icky to me. Magic isn’t about striving nor is it always comfortable getting there. Magic movement is about operating in that sweet spot between icky and complacently comfortable (“Comfortably Numb," anyone?) In this discussion, comfortable speaks of familiarity... but is familiar always comfortable? It’s reasonably predictable, but is it satisfying and fulfilling?

So here’s a super simple example from my childhood of moving out of the comfort zone. When I was a kid, I only ate what I “liked” ... that is I ate what I knew I liked, because I was afraid of eating something that might taste yucky (a close cousin to icky). It seems ridiculous now, but it was a big deal as a child. My veggie comfort zone was potatoes, corn and an occasional carrot. No greens. No salad. Lots of starch. This went on for years until one evening I went to a fancy restaurant with friends and the dinner came with salad. Yikes! What was my 12-year-old-self to do? At home I could have refused the plate of greens, but here I was in public with generous hosts and an inner voice that encouraged me to not be rude. Small as it may sound now, it was a pivotal point in my risk-taking progress. My comfort zone shifted slightly that night. As we sat high above Oklahoma City in the upscale restaurant that slowly revolved as we dined, I decided it was less uncomfortable to eat the salad than to stay in my existent comfort zone and be embarrassed by my salad aversion. A nice surprise happened that twilight evening as I risked moving out of my comfort zone. I discovered I love salad—really love it—and this morning I sit here sipping my green smoothie while I play with these words ☺.

Magic often comes by taking the smallest of steps out of the comfort zone—one toe in front of the other. (Like trying salad.) It’s not about replacing comfort with icky. Even though the greens might have tasted yucky, I was willing to take the risk, and my body didn’t feel icky doing it. (Nervous? Yes. A little scared? Probably. But not icky.) Moving toward magic comes from the place inside where you know the risk is greater to stay where you are than to move out of your current zone. It’s the tiny step where moving toward your dream feels better than staying in the shell. Movement is the magic.

Where will you risk stepping out of the comfort zone today? What "salad" is ready to go on our plate? If you need a little push, let me know! ☺


As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life by Kayce S. Hughlett. Available here.

diagram © 2012, Kayce S. Hughlett

Friday
Jan202012

BE Yourself

“Simply the thing that I am shall make me live.” William Shakespeare

This morning I’ve been pondering how much I miss interacting with the blogging community on a regular basis. Alongside this musing, come reflections on the level of inspiration its writers and readers have provided me over the years. I’ve visited the blogosphere on a less regular basis in past months—the catalyst being my blog reader disintegrating alongside other activities and life events. In deep and indelible ways, however, blogging stays with me through the words and thoughts I’ve breathed in over the years. It never really leaves, even when I feign absence. I have deeply missed the daily, evocative conversation with people around the world. It’s very different (and less-fulfilling) than quick Facebook status updates or super-fast Tweets (which I'm still resisting).

With the beginning of 2012, I find myself in a space that feels very different from years past. My pathway seems less clear or defined, and my soul is generously content with the lack of definition. At the launch of each new year, I choose a word as a gentle guide and focus for the coming months. The word that chose me this year is BE.

While BE is a word that’s shown up in numerous previous ways, it was nonetheless the one that kept bubbling to the top of my awareness as year’s end approached. It’s a provocative word and one that’s easily accessorized with other descriptors: Be yourself; Be present; Be still... It is proving to be an interesting challenge and something to be noted on a moment-by-moment basis. Lately I have been somewhat obsessed with the fruition of a long-time dream... the publication of my new book, As I Lay Pondering. I am wordless at how this experience is impacting me, and realize the extreme need to simply BE in it.

There are so many things to be done, learned and experienced in this unveiling. It is not only revealing my words and thoughts to the world, but also offering a whole new way for me to BE.. and even that statement leaves me wordless.

So what can I say? What do I know? Well... What I know this moment—right now—is that I am eternally grateful for the community that has followed and supported this blog (and me) for the past several years. Without you, As I Lay Pondering would not exist. Without you, it would be more difficult for me to BE myself. Thank you for coming to this space where I can simply be me. My hope always is that you leave here feeling a little more you. ☺

Thursday
Jan122012

When pigs fly...

...As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life will be released... SOON!

My book making has cut into my writing time. Go figure! But the date is swiftly approaching when you, too, will be able to hold in your hands the magic and mystery of such delightful treasures as the tale of Pedrita, the flying pig.

"This fresh and innovative daybook hints of a memoir, reads as a guidebook, and resonates with the human experience. Each entry conjures the ineffable with soulful specifics­—some tiny and concrete, others dreamily unreal—always seamlessly present. It is no heavy-handed moral guide to self-improvement; rather it is an invitation into the bigness of life. Filled with inspiration and simple activities to deepen the pathway to presence, it is the ideal companion for any transformational journey." -from the cover of As I Lay Pondering

"oxygen for the soul and a gold mine of inspiration!" Pedro. F. Báez - poet and transformational life coach

Order your copy today!!! Link accepts either Paypal or your preferred credit card.





photo © courtesy of Bill Hughlett

Friday
Dec302011

What's that book really about?

One of my favorite ways to write is to begin with a quote, prompt or random thought then pick up my composition notebook (aka journal), a Bic pen (when my fountain pen isn't available) and see what pops out as I let the words flow. In the wisdom of Flannery O'Connor "I write to discover what I know." Today's adventure began with a request from a friend who said, Tell me about your book.


As I Lay Pondering is basically my memoir broken down into daily loosely-disguised entries. It includes my most fantastic journeys right alongside the simplest moments. It encompasses tales of joy, sorrow, adventure, loss, dream fulfillment, pain, fear, love, laughter... Life. It covers psychology, theology, mythology, sociology and a few other 'ologies, I'm sure. I've been told it is educational, inspirational and at times just plain funny.

I began writing it before I knew it would be a book. It has been my lifeline (& one of my greatest challenges). It is something I couldn't NOT do and now I hope it will be something of value for others. Even though it's my story, I believe it is everyone's story. Who hasn't been lonely or lost... dreamed of grand adventure and dreams come true... cried, laughed, loved and longed to be still?

It's a book you can pick up at any time and likely find something relevant, if only a line or two. It includes ponderings from many of my greatest teachers... Buddah, the Bible, Tao te Ching, Anne Lamott, Thomas Merton, Martha Beck, friends, family, strangers, my beloved pets and more. I've loved writing it and can't wait to hold the completed product in my hands... I hope you'll feel the same way.

As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life by Kayce S. Hughlett. Available here.

KSH @ Contemplating Ruby Beach 12.30.11

Wednesday
Dec282011

It's not too late...

... to begin 2012 with a pondering companion. Imagine waking up on January 1 with a delightful guide to help start your year in presence. Pre-orders are open for As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life.

Here's what others are saying...

"One of Kayce Stevens Hughlett’s many fine gifts is pondering, that is, reflecting on the depth and meaning of the moments of life. She offers us a treasure in her new book of daily meditations. They are full of wisdom and invitations for practice and your own ponderings. Just reading each one I find myself breathing more deeply and feeling space open up around me. Following her suggestions, my perspective begins to shift. Buy this book and immerse yourself in a year of grace.”-- Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, AbbeyoftheArts, author of: The Artist’s Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom

"This is a book unlike any other.

I was lucky enough to get a peek at some of the ponderings and wonderings and both content and style are exquisite, unabashedly riveting and exuberantly rich with philosophical, existential, metaphysical and theosophical inquiries, introspections, blueprint-of-life-approximations and gloriously rich, tender and funny personal insights." -- Pedro Baez,

(L)attitudes: A Life Coaching Alternative Life, Health, Creativity and Cultural Identity Coach

"Kayce arranges her musings into a year-long journey that not only deepens as it flows but also surprises – drawing this reader into an experience of freshness that spills over into the rest of life. And that’s a gift for which I am very grateful." Betsy Pearson, Like A River, Author and Martha Beck Life Coach

Click here to reserve your copy now and receive an ebook beginning January 1.