Twas the Month before Publishing or...

... all I want for Christmas is my brand new book.

Twas the month before publishing and all through my head
visions of marketing filled me with dread.
The edits were flowing and input with care,
in hopes that my Pondering soon would be here.

The entries were nestled all snug in their months,
while thoughts of last details induced great goose bumps.
With pre-release launched and orders begun,
my brain marched steadily at a low-grade run.

When others exclaimed, “You’ve finished the book!”
My heart skipped a beat and I froze with a look...
It’s nearing the end, but details, my dear—
There’s much to be done before it is here.

With layouts and chapters, so lovely and thick,
I wavered a moment—this must be a trick.
More rapid than turtles, this dream true has come,
And I whistled, and shouted, “I can’t wait to be done!”

Now January, February, March through September,
Onward October, November and December!
To the top of the print line! To the edge of my risk!
Write away! Sell away! Celebrate this!!!

With love and blessings to you and yours during this holiday season!!!

Announcing my latest creation...

As I Lay Pondering:
daily invitations to live a transformed life

Through personal story, poetic prose and tales of epic adventure, As I Lay Pondering captures the essence of being fully present to the inimitable experience of daily life. Sometimes in concrete terms and other moments with a dreamlike quality, this book of 365 daily entries invites us into parallel worlds where we come to believe anything is possible. Through luxurious text and engaging daily activities, the reader will experience a universe where heart speaks truth and presence conquers the hubbub of mere existence.

AVAILABLE EARLY 2012 - Order your personal copy today for just $19.95 and receive a PDF ebook with complete entries for the month of January. Enjoy this invitation to begin the new year Pondering.

PDF's will be emailed no later than December 31, 2011 and books will be shipped upon printing - estimated 1/31/12. FREE SHIPPING on orders over $60.

Author's Note:

To pause and ponder is to consider something—anything—deeply, often through meditation and always with the possibility of bringing greater meaning. Years in the making, As I Lay Pondering began as a venue for my own personal healing. What was birthed through a series of journal entries has morphed into this daybook of poetry, prose and personal musings with universal appeal.

My love of writing began in the midst of a particularly life-draining period of time. At that point in my journey, I had two choices. One—to let the current events swallow me whole and conceal my internal spark forever, or Two—to find my authentic voice by beginning to write. Writing chose me. Yes, you read that correctly. Writing chose me.

As I Lay Pondering is a culmination of this journey-to-date. I was compelled to write this book to honor the life-changing moments I have witnessed, and to acknowledge the internal spark I believe each of us carries. My hope is that the words shared in this thinking person's daybook will provide essential kindling to ignite the flame of your life. May you know the joy of following your own spark. May you be present to the life you have in order to experience the one you desire. May you pause and ponder—thoughtfully and often.

I am so excited to share this with you!

Thoughtfully yours,

Kayce

Vulnerable

i keep trying to convince myself that this time of year isn't hard and by acknowledging and understanding that it is a challenge, things might get a little easier. easier? no. different? probably. more transparent? definitely.

i am uninspired by christmas - by giving - by shopping or thinking of things to be inspired by. i am inspired by twinkling lights in the dark of night. by solitary walks. by offbeat christmas songs. i am inspired by those with the vulnerability to state their grief over the loss of loved ones and dashed dreams. i am inspired by the quirky characters who find rest and joy only at this time of year. in this moment, i am uninspired by my life which so many find inspiring. i have two children that make me scream, WTF? my husband adores me and he's out of town. i meant to bake this year - to decorate - to fill my house with holiday soirees. it has not happened and will not, because i am uninspired.

please know i am not depressed or in need of medical attention. i am a member of the human race who finds this time of year confusing. it is confusing and empty in lots of regards. "they" say it should be joyous and filled with light. it is the darkest time of year—literally. the question of "will your family be all together for the holiday?" brought tears to my eyes this morning, because we will not. a book i've dreamed of for years is nearing the final stages. it is my current delight and it is harder than hell to finish...so many details. my urge for perfection rises to the top... and it is my saving grace. i can quietly sit for hours and edit comments... incorporating words and shaping them into the song of my own making. i am grateful for those simple moments.

i wish i were full of good cheer today. i'd like to say the cards and packages are in the mail, the cookies are baked and the presents wrapped... maybe later... perhaps i'll be inspired next year.

Faith in the Night

But darkness holds it all:
the shape and the flame,
the animal and myself,
how it holds them,
all powers, all sight –

and it is possible: its great strength
is breaking into my body.

I have faith in the night.

(excerpted from You Darkness, Rainer Maria Rilke translated by David Whyte)

I have faith in the night – the place where dreams meet and manifest. The flowing stream of wisdom, love and consciousness that drifts within and without me. Writing verse and prose...protection and protest...dreams and daring—all within the night.

I have faith that my book, As I Lay Pondering*, is happening—one step at a time. It sometimes moves at a snail’s sluggish pace and other stages burst forward with leaps of bravado and boldness.

I have faith in my life – that it is happening just as it should – could – would – is. Yes, just as it is.

*more details coming soon!!!!

For too many days...

For too many days I have not written of what stirs my soul. I have not confessed to the simple pleasures that make up my days. Things like… The soft fur of my golden cat as he greets me with his purring ballet. Sweet whispers and the tender touch of my beloved. Crisp winter air on my skin as daylight meets dark. Luminaries surrounding the lake. Laughter of friends mixed with the jingle of Christmas bells and off-key carols. Twinkling lights amidst the smell of freshly cut evergreen. Gastronomical delights like chicken and waffles turned into art and fat luscious noodles from Tommy’s kitchen. My daughter sleeping safely in her bed. The joy of my sister as she creates her art. Magic and mystery. Music. Dance. Delight.

For too many days now I have not written of what darkens my heart. Frigid rain that persists and chills me to the core. An empty space beside me. Silent friendships and those gone stale. My child in a cold stone cell. Unanswered messages. Aimless thoughts. Hunger and starvation. Loneliness and longing.

For too many days now I haven’t written of Hope, the candle that leads my way – not like birthday flames on a resplendent cake, but rather the single shimmer in the darkest night. Hope in the midst of sorrow. Hope that stirs the pot of joy buried deep within my belly. Hope that gets me out of bed on the gloomiest days, and Hope that leads me like a floodlight on stage when I follow my true passion.

For too many days I have not written of this season that stirs my soul in a multitude of ways. This season of darkness. This season of Hope. In this glorious season may we each reach for peace within and goodwill toward all. May our souls be stirred with delight alongside the acknowledgement of darkness. May we come to know that Hope abides in all who choose to truly live.

For too many days I have not… How might you respond?

photo © KSH - Santa Fe Tree